Category: Dating and Relationships
Well, I've been talking with a few people, and I would like a few oppinions on this. But I was wondering, do you think, the older you get, that it's harder to find what you're looking for in someone because A, most people are taken, or B, you have higher expectations probably of what you wannt in someone if you've dated for more than ten years? I'm just asking because I've seen people who have been married for ten plus years and then divorce, and then the 2 people are back in the dating scene, but they could both be in their 50's. I guess that would be harder than someone who's 26 like me. lol. And I guess it's just hard when you wanna share your life with someone, but hard to find people that could possibly get to know to see if you're a good fit. I'm not just going to date the first person that I come across because I'm not that desperate. But I've been through a lot in my lifetime, and would just love to find the right person. But I guess good things come to those who wait, even if waiting is one of the hardest things to do in life. So what do you all think about this? I guess if I were older than 35, it'd be harder, but I've still got 9 years to go til that point. But it really could be hard for anyone to wait no matter how old you are. you just have to know what you want in a partner and out of life to. So let me know what you think about this topic. Please don't bring critisism, just wanting oppinions.
WWell song bird, I feel like I'm kind of going threw the same things you are, I just feel like I'm never going to meet the one I'm suposed to bee with. Maybe I'm not open enough I'm kind of shy at first I don't know. My friends always tell me its going to happen I believe it but some days its harder than others. I'm just going to chill and see what happens because thats all I can do. I think about this same subject alot and it did seem easier to meet people when I was younger, I don't know but just hang in their.
Well, I like older men, usually 60's and up. Bbut even the 40 and 50 year olds I know agree with what you said. I think it's also different depending on what you want in a relationship. If it's just sex, sex and friendship or a full-blown romantic/sexual relationship will determine your response rate and also the kind of partner you're seeking. Thankfully, I've never been out of a relationship, but I'd imagine it could cause difficulties, especially when you're used to the way your former pertner used to do things, his/her likes, dislikes and quirks. This is something I'll have to get used to in my fwbs. No matter what, they're not my bf and I need to realise that. As someone on the oposite end of the spectrom I find it difficult to get older men cause they're either taken or I just can't find them. I think there's always the right kind of partner out there for all types of settings. You just have to be optimistic, honest and show your sincerity. True, some may avoid you cause of your age or may want that pretty/handsome person down the corner cause they think they're getting the better deal. But remember with maturity comes experience and alot of knowledge on how to satisfy, listen and understand in and out of the bedroom. That'll last far longer than so-called youthful charm.
The last poster said it very well that with age comes experience in life and the ability to satisfy, that we are better listeners, etc.
I'm 44 and recently (1 year) split from my wife. I have so much more to offer a woman than I did when I was in my early 20's. I'm looking for that true love. What I'm finding is not so much the qualities in a woman that I like, but instead, the qualities that I don't like. Then I move on.
I've realized that there is probably quite a few women out there that I can make it work with, but also a whole lot that I can't.
I've talked to some pretty awesome women, I just don't know if I'll find true love or not.
I've found it a lot easier to find women at the age I am now as opposed to when I was younger.
I don't know if true love is something you get at the start. It requires time. Now meeting people at any age requires you to get involved in some activities. Maybe it a church, a book club, a walking group or whatever. If you want to meet, then you must make yourself available to meet. That is why it is easier at a younger age, because your in school, and that leads to activities. So no any age is good.
That's not neceessarily true. I've mostly met my men, including my boyfriend, through the internet. I just put up ads on Craigslist or join dating sites etc, all of which are free. Of course, I take safety into account at all times. Since Mom's usually at the house, she'll meet the guy just to say hi, check his id and then leave. Also, I won't go anywhere with anyone unless I fully trust ahim and feel safe with him and unless family or friends are aware of where I am. But yeah, don't leave out online connections.
I did think about the internet after I posted. I have met people from it as well, work, and so just being out there will get you connected. Women have an easier time on Craigs list them men meeting due to more women being fake, or unwilling to actually meet. Smile. The real ones get lots of invites and men are not all beast, so. Lol
It's gotten harder, for me, and I'm just 30. Not like when I was in high school and they stood in line at prom haha.
Most women beyond 30 are harder to get close to because of past bad relationships, among other things. Maybe the same way with men too, but I think alot less with men. Most single women that are my age have went through hell, and that's why they are single, so they tend to be alot more cautious, and it is much harder. I can only foresee it getting harder as I get even older.
Yes, I know exactly what you mean. I'm very caucious because I've had lots of bad experiences in my life, not with boyfriends per say, but with bad harassment situations. It's all hard to explain and I don't want to just pour myself out to people that I don't know. But since I'm shy, it makes it hard to talk to people that I don't know either. lol. It's not as hard online or on the phone, but in person, it's really hard for me. I guess since I was rejected so much by sighted people my whole life, it just makes it hard to trust and start up a conversation. But it's not like I'm a turtle in it's shell all the time. I think I'm a fun, easy going, person to get to know. It's just that I don't want to just go to bars to meet people all the time. I'm working on trying to find clubs to get involved with, and a new church or something. But really, Minnesota isn't where I wanna be. At some point next summer, i'm moving, and to where, i don't know yet. But I want to get a job, and build a new life for myself, and hopefully if I am with someone, they will respect that, and if I'm not, then it's ok. Everyone wants to be loved no question about that. But I'm not going to just rush into something without knowing what I'm doing. So I think what everyone on here is saying is great. But it just all depends on who you're talking to. I've learned to slow down and get to know everything about someone and see if they might be a match for you like someone else said on this board, and that's what i'm going to do. So if anyone on here is still single and is older, just be patient and make friends and try to make everyday a good day, even if part of it sucks. That way people will like you for being a great person because they can see who you really are. Ok, well I might've repeated myself, but I'm really getting tired. So anyway, for those out there like me who are getting older and still single, just wait, and someone will come. Just don't forget to do something with yourself to. Good luck everyone.
It is harder to believe in 'true love' when one is older. I was married to one man for eighteen years, and I never thought that would fall apart, but it did! Now I just want to have fun, live by myself and kick them out in the morning! Just joking, but I am really skeptical now. LaWanda
If you think it's hard at 30, just wait till you hit 70. Men, if you live that long, you'll be king of the mountain. On average, there are something like 250 women for every man. So, live long and prosper.
Now to be serious, I think before you try to find love, you should try to find like. Love to me is a destenation on a really long road trip. Sometimes the trip is smooth sailing, and other times there are a lot of detours, u turns, and dead ends. Rather then focusing on the destenation, focus on the journey. Enjoy him or hersimply and completely. If the road forks and you want to go yorur seperate ways, thank each other for the memories.
I guess in a nutshell what I am trying to say is, love is not something you work for, it's something you work at. It's like crossing the ocean, you can't see when it happens but after a while, you just know. I don't think it's any harder to find love when your 10, 20, or even 90. I think it is the expectation that we want to find love, that makes finding love that much harder. Start by finding like, and see where that takes you.
ciao.
ok well i'm 17 and just fell in love for the first time this past summer. we are no longer together, but it is still hard. even borfe i met him i dated and got hurt so i'm closed up very much. i do think the older i get the more i'm doing for school, work etc the less i find it easy to even find a match lol.
To Nem: lol Where is that 70-year-old? Send him my way. Seriously though, you really phraised that beautifully. I always say "live without regrets". Everything is an experience. Sometimes, you'll just wind up liking each other and sometimes, it turns into complete love. But whatever it is enjoy it while you have it. There's a saying that I heard on adultfriendfinder of all places. Some people enter your life for a reason, some for a season and some for a lifetime. Each is special and will teach you something.
dark sapphire: My goodness! You're only 17. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't get so down on yourself. Your first love is always the strongest and the hardest to lose but things will get better. I'm sure you'll find someone or various people who will make you happy. Don't ever give up.
Good luck with your quest Xeon. Just don't tell them you can't date them because you are too busy, if you are really looking and find one you like.
I'll keep this as general as possible and I'll keep names out since I don't really have this person's permission, but I thought I'd share it because it really answers this question. I know this person was maried for over 20 years and she's been divorced now for 12 years. Her husband left her because she lost her vision, but... she has told me all kinds of stories. So, all the guys she has dated are blind or visually impaired, or almost... She has went through a crap load with this guy, and a bunch of false rumours, and lost a load of friends... so she naturally knows what she doesn't want and has some expectations. then the next guy she dated who was older then her and she was in her 40's then but this guy wanted a sexual relationship rather quickly and he had problems... he left and they broke up and she ended up having to do a bunch of things so he couldn't reach her. She met this other guy who basically trashed her, though she didn't date him... He disrespected her rules when staying with her and also turned her in on a false note. Those two really gave her some high expectations. Then, I forgot if some other guys did something else, but I know this last guy who dated her before she married is still after her today because he thinks she is that great and a whole assortment of deal with him... but now... she wants nothing to do with guys like that for a long time and she's in her early fifties.
It's really a sad tragic stories and this women has a few medical problems too, and I just feel really bad for her when I write this... so... I hope that answers your question...
I know that in general, a lot of younger people take breakups a lot harder. Take it from me! I had my first breakup when I was sixteen. We weren't even all that serious, but I thought my life was over at the time. Now, I'm engaged, and I couldn't be happier. I know I'm still really young. I'm only eighteen, and some would say I probably shouldn't even get serious this young, but I'm really one of those "go with the flow" sort of people, and since I'm happy with this person, I'm not going to turn anything away just because I'm young.
I think that whether you're young or old, the long term serious relationships are probably the hardest to move on from, so I think it's more that that determines the difficulty of finding true love rather than age.
perhaps... but I would disagree with you there. I mean this particular individual was married for a long time and it was hell. Well, that guy was... interesting and chose to make a bigger deal out of it then it was, but... losing friends, trying to deal with the fact that he was gone, the disappointment since they were married for a long time, and more... It wasn't her choice to divorce him anyways, it was his, I think for a really stupid reason... but she had to deal with all of it, and the rumors.
i agree with thoes that said that your first break up is the hardest. i was 15 when i first actually fell in love with a guy, and 17 when it ended, (the only guy i ever dated who was sighted). i'm now 31, and have been through some, well, let's just say disasters, wich one particular one very nearly ended me, *very abusive*, but i'm here so that's the main thing. unfortunetly, all the bad relationships have made me very guarded when it comes to relationships, and i more or less, stopped looking a long time ago. so i guess what i'm saying is that yes, it does get harder as you get older, but, you should never completely close the door on relationships. i remember more than one person saying to me that the "one" will come along when you least expect it, and it's when your not even looking that it happens.